Happy Halloween! Thank you for those of you that sent in questions, DM’ed feedback, and to basically everyone for not unfollowing me after an irritating 31 days of tarot in your news feeds. I set off on a #tarotchallenge, committing to do daily card pulls on social media for my friends, family, and the collective. In addition to the daily readings, in the month of October I will have done readings at three events and put several new clients in rotation. I am so grateful for all the new opportunities October brought and how this weird, woo hobby has allowed me to connect with so many people.
One of the questions that came in during the month was “How did you get into tarot?” I procrastinated/saved this one for the last day mostly because I didn’t know what to say.
The short answer is: I don’t know.
Many people turn to tarot or the mystical or spiritual when they feel lost and are looking for answers (the dark times, your Saturn return, a crisis). Around the time I bought my first my deck I was definitely capital-L Lost and looking for answers without any luck. You’ll seek help from pretty much any place or thing during the worst times in your life.
The details of what brought me to that place or how bad it really was aren’t super important (but it’s a heck of a story if you ever want to hear it). I was already in therapy, I was trying to meditate and do yoga and take care of myself, but I was still struggling. I had to make decisions I’d never thought I’d have to make and none of the paths in front of me seemed better than bleak. I just wanted someone to tell me what I should do. The programming from childhood that told me that if you work hard and do everything right then you’ll do well in life had totally failed me. I had done everything right and made all the “right” choices and still ended up in that sad place. Taking the high road over and over again wasn’t getting me out of it either.
I tried anything and everything at that time to distract myself from reality and find a way out, including, but not limited to, going to a hiking club meetup by myself, dyeing my hair blue, going on dates I knew would be terrible just to get out of the house, lots of therapy, talking to religious leaders, sessions with a medium, and so on. Somehow (I don’t know how to connect the dots, it was a blurry time) the search eventually brought me back to trying to reconnect with experiences with “the other side” I’d had from the time I was young.
This, again, is hard to explain and also a long story, but it involves extremely prophetic dreams and experiences with loved ones who had passed on (like, showing up in my room). It also involved strong intuition, just knowing things, and synchronicities that can’t just be explained away.
We’ve all, at some point, ended up down a google search rabbit hole, starting on one topic and then several searches and hours later you’re suddenly deep in to a completely separate topic with no clue how you got there. I think that’s how I ended up reading about tarot on my phone late one night when I couldn’t sleep. I don’t know what possessed me to hit “buy now” on my first deck and tarot book.
But I do know that it wasn’t an accident that this time in my life opened up the door for tarot to come in. There was a reason that I somehow honed in on tarot, read as much as I could about it, and practiced pulling cards for myself every night. From the very beginning I wasn’t getting the explicit answers I so badly wanted (that would be too easy), but I was getting validation from my guides and guardian angels that they saw what was going on and I did start to get guidance that was enormously helpful.
I could (and will) write about how I learned tarot very quickly, the types of answers you get in the cards, and what it all means, but this is all still very much a work in progress. What I do want to say is that this started as a hobby with self-centered intentions and has now become something I see as a service to others. I love using tarot to help other people (I hardly ever read for myself anymore). This is one of those weird synchronicities. I never would have found and learned tarot if I hadn’t been in such a dark place. I never would have had the opportunity to meet some of the people I’ve met and pass on messages that have really profoundly helped them. I’m grateful to be able to help others, especially because I truly do know how hopeless it can feel during the dark times.
More to come (I hope). If you have any questions about tarot or want to try a reading, contact me through this site or social media.